Roadside Memorials.

You have seen them – roadside memorials. Everything from discrete white crosses to elaborate displays of grief and loss placed at the site of a fatality. What some say started as markers of a funeral processional became popular in the 1980s to mark accidents or other life-ending tragedies. On one hand, these memorials remind all who pass to be mindful of the responsibilities and dangers of operating a vehicle. On the other hand, these roadside displays, sometimes called grassroots memorials, must be motivated by a psychological need of the survivors.

We have several of these perpetual roadside memorials. The large white cross, taller than the caretaker, was erected years ago. It features a photo and hooks on each arm of the cross to hang seasonal artificial flower arrangements. Some of these types of memorials end up looking dirty and tired, but the caretaker of this one lovingly changes out the well-arranged decorations monthly. Another memorial at a busy intersection in a nearby town started as a small floral display, but has now grown to a wooden, painted shrine that protects several good-sized artificial floral displays. We notice these memorials every time we drive to town, which is often. Yesterday, the woman who maintains the large cross with the flower arrangements was at the memorial (the first I had seen her) changing out the display. I can only imagine the planning, storage, and work – as well as the ongoing grief – involved with maintaining this memorial.

According to Clark and Franzmann (2006), those who erect these types of memorials feel a type of empowerment – an authority – from their grief. The church (or synagogue) has historically possessed the authority to not only decide who could be buried where, when, and how (i.e., in the church graveyard), but also dictated, perpetuated, and orchestrated the entirety of funerary rituals. This was due to the clergy being the mediator between the deity and the lay community. It seems that authority has been more and more appropriated by the people; perhaps this began when some realized it was it more ecologically and financially practical to be cremated after death rather than buried in an expensive casket and cemetery plot. Cremation is far less costly, and either keeping or spreading ashes in a natural location, such as on the beach, on a lake, or on a favorite trail, costs relatively nothing. Further, with the ever diminishing amount of the population personally associated with a house of worship, handling the death of a loved one becomes a business deal with a funeral home rather than a meaningful spiritual ritual directed by one’s own pastor or rabbi. Taken together, it is no wonder that mourning families feel empowered by their grief to create their own meaningful rituals, such as erecting and maintaining perpetual roadside memorials.

The traditional rituals of burying loved ones in a cemetery with rigid boundaries that contain the discomfort of death, loss, and grief may no longer adequately serve the needs of the members of the culture by providing a place of meaningful remembrance and comfort. With the increase in roadside memorials, along with memorial car decals affixed to the back windows of vehicles, people must be needing something different than traditional funerary rituals. And when a cultural tradition no longer serves those within that culture, the tradition evolves into something that better serves them through the actions of the members.

Joseph Campbell stated that the enactment of a ritual was participation in the culture’s mythology. When the vast majority participated in, and gained collective comfort from, the traditional death rituals of church-led funerals and cemetery burials, there was not a proliferation of grassroots roadside memorials. As the culture and circumstances changed, it appears those traditions and rituals are not fitting or serving the population in a satisfactory manner. The members of the culture have developed their own rituals, thus reflecting a change in the understanding, spirituality, and rituals surrounding death. Moreover, a culture is strengthened by its shared meaning (as stated by David Bohm), but if many of the members do not share the same or similar meaning – i.e., that a body needs to remain intact after death to facilitate reanimation by a deity at some future date – then the ritual based on that meaning loses its purpose and is eventually disregarded in favor of a more fulfilling ritual. Of course, this takes many decades or even generations, but I suspect what we are seeing with these perpetual roadside memorials is the evolution of the cultural understanding and rituals surrounding death as we all struggle with the lack of collectively-shared meaning.

Postscript: As we pulled up to snap a photo of the aforementioned roadside memorial, and guessing from the attached photo and nature of the decorations, I am thinking a child that was lost at this spot - which makes it even more poignant and sad. The balloons potentially mark his would-be 20th birthday. It is not lost on me that the woman who maintains this memorial is somehow fulfilling the role she would have held in life - to participate and engage this child in the cultural holiday festivities - by marking the current holidays with the matching decorations. It breaks my heart.

References

Clark, J., & Franzmann, M. (2006). Authority from grief, presence, and place in the making of roadside memorials. Death Studies, 30(6), 597-599.